The Not So Secret Diary of Lily Evans
by Kitastrophy
Summary: Everyone has a diary, but when the diary of Lily Evans falls into potentialy dangerous hands, who knows what will happen! But, then again, boys will be boys, and girls will be girls!
1. Boys

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own any of the things in the world of Harry Potter. Although i would like to, I only own any un-recognisable characters that you may see during the following story..

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James smiled ad looked at the locked diary. He didn't know how he had pulled it off, but all he knew was that he held the secrets to someone's mind, someone's feelings, and someone's heart. Yes, he James Potter, had Lily Evans' diary.

He hadn't figured out how to open it yet, but he knew that he would find a way to see its secrets inside. Right now, the cover just kept on flashing words like, _Whoever's got my diary I will kill you, Give me back my diary, If this is you Potter, stop fantasizing about me and give me my diary back!_

'Ahhhhhh, sweet Lily,' he thought to himself, 'One day you will come to your senses and you will be mine.' He always knew that he was obsessive, but he had only just come to realise in his fifth year of Hogwarts that the reason that he chased after and pranked Lily, was that he truly, and deeply-

"Oi, Jamesie!" a voice yelled, breaking his thoughts of a certain red head. Looking around he spotted his best friend, Sirius, sitting in a chair beside him in the Gryffindor common room of Hogwarts. James then realised that he was covered in pillows, meaning only one thing.

"What was that for!" he shouted at Sirius, as yet another pillow was pelted at him. Sirius looked bewildered.

"Um, hello, you've just been staring at this book for the last ten minutes and we've been trying to talk to you!" Remus, James' other best friend cut in. James looked down at the diary again.

"Oh." He said, drifting into his thoughts of Lily again. Sirius, tired of trying to get James' attention, looked over at what the book in James' hand in time to see the words, _If this is Potter, stop fantasizing about my boobs and give my diary back! _Scrawled in neat hand writing on the cover. Sirius laughed and jerked the book out of James' hand.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here Moony, Evans' diary!" he said mischief. James, only just realising that Sirius had Lily's diary got up and held out his hand.

"Give it to me!" he demanded. Sirius just looked back at James.

"Well, why don't we grab the popcorn and have a look at the show!" he said, trying to open the diary. James chuckled.

"Good luck mate, believe me, I've tried." He said. At that moment, the girl that he was thinking about walked into the common room with her friends, Gianne Hartley and Elle Thomson.

As soon as she walked in, James tried to get the diary from Sirius, but Sirius just held it behind his back so Lily couldn't see it.

Lily took one look at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter and rolled her eyes. Noticing the position that James and Sirius were in she raised her eyebrows.

"Gosh boys, I didn't know that you were into that sort of thing. Could you please take you're orgy upstairs, we have to study."

James looked at how they were positioned and stood up, taking a step back. Lily smirked and walked over to a group of chairs at the other side of the common room.

James thought it was a good chance and walked over to them.

"Oi Evans, have I told you how stunning you look today?" He asked, sitting in the chair beside her and giving her one of his smiles that would melt any other girl's heart. Lily didn't look up at him, but continued to get out her books.

"Only about two times this morning," she said in a bored voice, "Then about three times at lunch, then about five time in History, and then once at diner."

James smirked, okay, so what if he gets bored in History of Magic, you would too!

"Well that's not enough, so I'll say it again. You look absolutely stunning, Evans!" he said, and gave another one of his smiles.

Lily sighed, _'God, doesn't he get the picture! I don't like him!' _she thought. But then another voice came into her head, '_but you have t admit, he is pretty hot…_' Lily sighed again and then realised what she had just thought.

"Ew!" she exclaimed, a little too loudly than what she was intending for. Elle looked at her in an understanding face.

"Oh my god, I know! Not only do we have to do five feet on the History of Magic, but we have to make it like we actually know what we're talking about!" she said.

Lily rolled her eyes, _'the company I keep around sometimes!'_ Just then, Sirius jumped up holding something and exclaimed,

"I did it!" James looked in horror at what Sirius had in his hand and ran over to him. But Sirius, seeing him come over, pelted his way up the boys staircase.

"Padfoot, I swear if you don't give it to me I will pound you so hard and shove your new broomstick so far up where the sun don't shine that-"

But what James would do with his broomstick wasn't heard, but instead was replaced by a big, "OW!" (most presumably Sirius).

Lily rolled her eyes, _'Boys'_.

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A/N. Here's my first chapter in my story. I really like this one. Out of all the other's I've written I think that this is the best, although you haven't even read my other ones, so you'll just have to take my word for it. Please review and tell me what you think, good or bad, and enjoy reading the rest of the story.


	2. Linda Egby

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own any of the things in the world of Harry Potter. Although I would like to, I only own any un-recognisable characters that you may see during the following story..

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"Sirius, I'm serious! Give it back!" James' voice rang throughout the Gryffindor tower.

"But you're not Sirius, I am!" a small voice could be heard following it. Lily sighed and went back to her work with Elle and Gianne.

Up in the seventh year boys dormitory, were James and Sirius. James had finally gotten Lily's diary from Sirius and was currently sitting on his bed and clutching his side in pain.

"Well," Sirius managed to say through his gasping, "Are you going to read it or not?"

James looked at the book in his hand and back at Sirius. He shook his head. Sirius gaped.

"Why the bloody hell not!" he demanded, still a little bit short of breath.

"Because, if I read it now I'll want to say stuff to Evans. So, I figured, that I'll read it next week at Christmas when Evans is at her house, when no damage can be done." He groaned, and lay back on his bead.

Sirius muttered to himself in disgust and took the diary out of James' hands.

"Well, if you're not going to read it, I will." He said grumpily, opening the diary to the back.

Suddenly, tiny fireworks came out of the diary, bouncing off of the walls.

"_Oh my god_," Sirius read from the book, "_Soon it's going to be Christmas, and I am so excited. No more stupid arrogant boys for me. Even though it's the last year of Hogwarts, I still can't wait for it to end. Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah_, Aha! I found it mate, some stuff on James Potter!" he said to James, "Now we will know what the other species think of you!" James shook his head.

"Dude, I don't want to know, just give it back!" he demanded. Sirius shook his head.

"No! I want to know what Evans thinks of you. Ahem _James Potter infuriates me. This morning I woke up to find myself in a sea of garden gnomes, and I know it was him. What's worse is that they started kissing me and saying stuff when I woke up. Then they started attacking Elle and Gianne for trying to save me!_ Dude, that was pretty awesome when you did that, I have to give you credit mate." Sirius chuckled, as he continued on, "_But don't worry, I will get him back, when he least expects it. Gianne and I are planning something big. We would get Elle to help, but she really doesn't have the brain capacity for it. So now I'll leave you with these final words. For everything that James Potter has done to me, I will get him back, and hit him twice as hard than he could ever expect._" Sirius sighed and closed the diary, giving it to James. "Dude, I think she has it out for you."

James just shook his head.

"Nah, you think?" he said sarcastically. James put the diary under his pillow. "Come on mate, we've got quidditch practise all tomorrow." He said, and they went to bed, Remus and Peter coming in a little later.

The next day, James and Sirius walked into the Great Hall, closely followed by Remus and Peter, and sat at the Gryffindor table. Sirius leant into James and whispered to him.

"So, you think she's realised that it's missing yet?" he asked. James looked confused.

"Missing what yet?" he asked, completely befuzzled (if that's even a real word). Sirius looked disgusted.

"MISSING THE FLIPPING DIARY YOU PRAT!" he bellowed into James's ear. James looked flobergasted (it's a funny word, the spelling thingy on my computer said that it should be flabbergasted, but I think that flobergasted sounds better).

"SHUT UP!" he yelled. "NO ONE'S SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE A CERTAIN L.E.'S DIARY!" he continued, not at all worried that he was giving away the vital plot to a certain L.E. that was standing right behind him with her hands on her hips.

"Excuse me!" she demanded, "No yelling in the great hall! A Head Boy should know better than that, and it is my responsibility as Head Girl to remind you that!" (Just thought that I should have told you that they were both head boy and girl sooner or later). "And I think that you should know better than that to not go around reading Linda Egby's diary, she doesn't like you, and she's a lesbian, so leave her alone!" Sirius smirked.

"And how do you know that Egby's a lesbian?" he asked. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Well," she started, "If Potter for once actually did a good job of stalking me, then he would know how I know that Linda's a lesbian!" she said matter-of-factly. Sirius looked disappointedly at James.

"Mate, couldn't you do a good job? I really wanna know how she knows that Egby's a lesbian!" he complained. "PLEASE tell me! And why do you think that it's Egby's diary?" he said suspiciously. Lily sighed.

"Well, there was that time in fifth year that I suspected it, coz she kept on finding excuses to feel me up, then there was that time in sixth that she said that she was a lesbian and started pashing me before I could pull away."

Sirius looked disgusted.

"Prongs! Why weren't you there!"

"And, as to your other question, all the other L.E's are either guys, wait a minute…" she said, looking at Sirius and James suspiciously before continuing.

"Okaay, so they're either guys, or really ugly girls, unlike me who is a stuck up snob and really really hot." She concluded, James nodding heavily at the last remark, before she walked off to join her friends at the other end of the table. James turned to Sirius.

"Dude, that was close." Sirius smiled.

"Come on, time for Quidditch!" he said, and raced James down to the Quidditch pitch.

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A/N. Hmmm…. What's going on? Lol ,not my favourite chapter, and you'll find out more about Linda Egby in my next chapter. Just a random spur of a moment thing I decided to put in while really bored at home. Please review and tell me what you think, good or bad, and enjoy reading the rest of the story.


	3. Plan Superman

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own any of the things in the world of Harry Potter. Although I would like to, I only own any un-recognisable characters that you may see during the following story..

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Lily sighed as she watched James and Sirius race out of the great hall. She knew she shouldn't mess with their minds, but she had to admit, it was kind of fun. Gianne giggled.

"What you tell 'em this time?" she asked, giggling and watching Lily's frown turn into a smirk.

"I told 'em that whoever's diary they had was _Linda Egby_!" she said, putting on a goofy smile and crossing her eyes. Elle's laughed.

"Who on earth is Linda Egby!" she exclaimed, stifling her laughs a bit. Lily stopped laughing and rolled her eyes.

'Elle, if I knew who Linda Egby was, I wouldn't have used her name!" Gianne went into silent fits of laughter as Elle's face went into confusion.

"But…" she stammered. "Why did you tell them that the diary they had was Linda Egby?" she asked. Lily rolled her eyes again at her friend's stupidity.

"Well, doofas, it was so that I could stir Potter up and make him feel bad about doing a bad job of staking me, and then it was just plain fun seeing Black's face when I went on to tell them that Linda Egby was a lesbian and had felt me up and pashed me." She finished, a bit out of breath. Elle's face lit up.

"Oh!" she said. "But then, why did you use Linda Egby's name, and how do you know that it's not your diary they have, you know, L.E., Lily Evans…." Lily sighed, yet again.

"Because, everyone knows that they never remember any girl's name that they've met, and it was the first name that came to mind. And, it can't be my diary, because, because…" Lily bit her lip and looked shiftily around. "Because I don't have a diary, no, not a diary at all." She said, breaking out into maniacal laughs and looking at each other with force.

Elle started laughing with Lily and Lily stopped, letting Elle continue. Lily stoped and looked at Gianne, who rolled her eyes and motioned to get away from Elle. Lily nodded and stood up with Gianne, leaving Elle at the table, laughing her head off with her eyes closed. It was only when Lily opened the door of the great hall that Elle realised that they weren't there, and ran after them.

"Hey!" she called, tripping over and getting back up. "Wait for me!" and ran out of the Great Hall after Lily and Gianne.

Remus turned to Peter.

"Do you think we should tell Prongs that Lily's messing with him again?" he asked. Peter gave a nervous laugh and shook his head.

"Nah," Remus said in agreement. "Let him find out the hard way. It is quite amusing."

Outside, on the Quidditch pitch, James was circling, 50 metres above anybody else of the Gryffindor team when he saw a redhead, brunette, and closely followed by a blonde, emerge from the Hogwarts front doors, and make their way down towards the pitch. Smiling, he flew down to where Sirius was scoring a goal.

"GOAL!" he cried, as the quaffle went through the middle hoop. James laughed as the Gryffindor Quidditch captain blew the whistle to signal the end of training. James flew down with Sirius and landed on the grass just as Lily, Gianne and Elle entered the pitch stadium.

"Well, well, well, ladies, come to see me all hot and sweaty and very sexy, have you?" Sirius called out to them. Lily and Gianne burst out giggling, Elle having a confused look on her face.

"What?" she asked, as they both headed over to the seats in the stadium. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry Elle, its just phase 1 of plan Superman." She said, giggling more as Sirius and James headed their way.

"Plan Superman?" she asked, a bit dazed. Gianne shushed her as James and Sirius came to stand in front of them. James smiled.

"Hartley, Thompson, Evans." He said, nodding to the first two and setting his gaze on Lily. Inwardly, Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. _'Come on Lily,'_ she thought to herself. _'Don't get worked up. Must-think-of plan Superman!'_ Lily smiled sweetly at both James and Sirius.

"Potter, Black." She said, battering her eye lashes ever so slightly. _'God Lily, you make me so sick!'_ she thought.

James's heart leapt. _'Lily Evan's, smiling at ME!'_ he thought.

"So boys, how was training?" Gianne piped up from beside Lily. Lily and Gianne had gone over the script one hundred times that morning. Sirius looked suspiciously at Gianne, then Lily.

"Why do you want to know about training?" he asked. Lily sighed and stood up, closely followed by Gianne and Elle, who was still beffapled.

"Just in the spirit of things." She said sweetly, walking up to stand in front of James. "You are planning to win the game against Slytherin, aren't you?" she said, looking innocently at him. James smiled at her.

"Well, only if you want me to, Evans." He said, a bit too full of himself. Inwardly, Lily was puking her guts out. _'Do it for plan superman Lily! It's all about plan superman!'_

"Of coarse I do, why wouldn't I?" she asked, brushing against him as she walked past, Gianne and Elle in tow. "Seeya later, Potter." She said, leaving a glazy-eyed James and a suspicious Sirius standing on the middle of the pitch.

"Dude, she's up to something." He said to James, looking at the exit the pitch. James sighed.

"I don't care."

As soon as they had walked out of the pitch, Lily and Gianne collapsed with laughter.

"He actually bought it!" Gianne cried. Elle looked confused.

"So, what is this plan superman?" she asked. Lily linked arms with Gianne and Elle and walked back up to the castle with them.

"Plan superman is…"

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A/N. WHAT'S PLAN SUPERMAN! Lol, well, guess what, you're not going to find out until it actually happens! I'm still finalising details on it, but it's going to be great! Please review and tell me what you think, good or bad, and enjoy reading the rest of the story.


	4. A Little Cold Over Christmas

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own any of the things in the world of Harry Potter. Although I would like to, I only own any un-recognisable characters that you may see during the following story..

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"Lily Evans, you are bad!" Gianne cried. Lily smirked.

"It comes with the package, darling!" she said in a snooty voice, laughing hysterically with Gianne and Elle. Elle started coughing and Lily whacked her in the back.

"Ow! Lily! That hurt!" she whined. Lily looked at Gianne and rolled her eyes.

"So," Gianne continued, "What are you gonna do until we're done with plan superman?" she asked. Lily smiled.

"Go to phase 2." She said simply. Elle and Gianne looked confused.

"What is phase 2, exactly?" Elle asked, tilting her head to the side. Lily gave an evil grin.

"Plan 2 is to play with their heads." Gianne's smile wavered.

"Their?" she asked. Lily sighed.

"Gi, if this is going to work, we need them both distracted, I've already got a plan for Remus, and I'm pretty sure Peter won't have a clue on what's going on." She said. Elle turned her head towards Lily.

"What plan for Remus?" she asked. Lily smiled angelically.

"You'll see." She said.

Lily, Gianne and Elle walked down into the common room together. They walked over to James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. Lily smiled at all of them.

"Remus, don't forget, we have a heads meeting later tonight, and, oh, while I remember." She said, smiling evilly. (She tends to do it a lot in this chapter doesn't she?) Remus looked at her in suspicion.

"What." He said, glancing at the three girls. Lily giggled. _'That's odd.' _He thought. _'Since when does Lily giggle?' _James just sighed and ruffled his hair. This caught Lily's attention and she was just about to roll her eyes when she caught herself. _'The plan Lily.' _She thought. _'Remember the plane and all the things he's done to you.'_ Lily nearly made herself puke by smiling at James. James beamed when Lily smiled at him.

"Elle has something to tell you, Remus." She said, glancing at Elle and then back at Remus. Elle bit her lip and glanced at Lily as her cheeks turned red.

"Yeah Elle?" he asked her, now turning his attention to her. Lily had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from laughing as Elle grabbed Remus and kissed him firmly. Blushing even more, Elle ran to the portrait and practically jumped through. Remus stood there like a stunned mullet. Lily held her hand up to her mouth to hide her smile, turning her eyes into pools of pity.

"Sorry Remus." She said, lowering her hand to show a serious face. (No pun intended). "She was supposed to say more to you, but you know, this crush that she's had on you has been on for a long time, and I guess she was just nervous?" she said, smiling sweetly and shrugging a bit. Remus looked at her with open eyes.

"W-what!" he squeaked. Lily smiled inside. _'This is gonna be a lot easier than I thought.'_ The thought.

"Well, she has liked you for a long time!" she said, putting on her innocent face. Remus blushed a bit and walked up the boys stairs. At this point Sirius was laughing so hard that he fell over, bumping into Gianne and pulling her down too. _'Excellent!' _Lily thought. _'Both plans, underway!' _Gianne looked a bit surprised and disgusted, but remembering plan superman and phase two, smiled broadly at Sirius and flattered her eyelashes a bit before getting off of him. All James had done ever since the girls had come down was stare at Lily.

Lily linked her arm with Gianne's and looked at the three remaining boys.

"Bye Pettigrew, Black, James. She said, nodding at them all and smiling at James. _'You know,'_ Lily thought, _'I could get used to this.'_ Lily realised what she had just thought and whacked herself in the head. Gianne looked startled at Lily.

"What did you do that for?" she asked curiously. Lily looked at Gianne in panic.

"Just thinking about something I shouldn't be thinking." She said truthfully. Gianne smiled at Lilly.

"What, like how sexy the boys are gonna look when we do plan superman?" she asked, battering her eye lashes. Lily looked at her for a minute and then they both started laughing and walked out of the common room in search of Elle.

--

Sirius looked at James.

"Have you noticed how damn fine Hartley looks? He asked James with a quizzically look on his face. James had one look at his face and laughed.

"Watch out padfoot, your face might get stuck that way and people will actually think that you like doing work!" he gasped in between laughs. Sirius looked at him in horror and covered his face with his hands.

"No!" he cried. "Not my face! Anything but the face!" he said dramatically and fell to his knees, pretending to wither in pain.

"So, you think Moony'll come down anytime soon?" he asked, looking up the stairs. Then it hit him.

"Padfoot?" he said. Sirius looked up at him from the floor.

"Yeah?" he asked. James's eyes widened.

"Lily just called me James!" he said, jumping up in the air and shaking a fist. Both of them were too happy, James about Lily calling him James and Sirius about remembering that he still had cake upstairs to realise that A) Peter wasn't there, (oh what a shame!) and B) the girls were up to something.

Lily sighed. _'Thank god.'_ She thought. _'They aren't any of the wiser.'_ Her thoughts were interrupted by a wail of despair.

"How could you guys!" Elle cried. "You know that I like Remus, and you just made me go up to him and kiss him!" Gianne silently laughed. "And then you told him that I liked him! Which is the truth, mind you, but why! Why me?" Lily sighed and patted her friend on the back.

"Elle," she sighed. "Face it, at one point in time you had to tell him how you feel, it's better that now he knows!" Elle looked up at James from where she was sitting on the grass next to the lake.

"But Lily," when he finds out about the plan, he'll think that I don't really like him!" she wailed. Gianne sighed.

"Listen Elle, you know as well as I do that Remus doesn't like you!" Elle gaped at her. "But, still, if he doesn't fall for it, we can make a love potion, at least they're not illegal yet!" she said, hopefully lifting Elle's feelings. Elle sniffed.

"Listen guys," Lily said, looking at them thoughtfully, "I just thought of a way to make this more entertaining." She said, smiling. The two girls looked at her in confused faces. "You're not doing anything this Christmas, are you?" Gianne looked at her suspiciously.

"Why? She asked. Lily smirked.

"Because, I think for once the seventh years should have a, little ball at Christmas." Gianne gaped.

"No way!" Lily smiled.

"Yes way, I think someone's gonna be a little cold over Christmas, girls."

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A/N. Oooooohh, a ball! Sparkly stuff! chases after silver confetti. What's going to happen at the ball? This all ties up with plan superman, so pay close attention to all the fine details. Please review and tell me what you think, good or bad, and enjoy reading the rest of the story.


	5. Black Eye's & Sore Backs

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own any of the things in the world of Harry Potter. Although I would like to, I only own any un-recognisable characters that you may see during the following story..

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"What do you mean 'she's staying here for Christmas'!" James demanded, shaking a scared looking Remus. Remus bit his lip.

"Well, it's simple really," he said, pulling himself out of James's grasp, "she, Gianne and Elle have decided to stay here for Christmas." James groaned and started hitting his head on the wall of the seventh year boys dormitory.

"Noooooo, this can't be happening!" he groaned. Remus gave Sirius a questioning glance.

"Why is that a bad thing?" he asked. Sirius sighed.

"Because, Moony, Prongs here has a certain book that belongs to Evan's, and you see, he wants to read it. I want to read it! But he won't fricking let me read it!" he cried. Remus rolled his eyes.

"So why is it a bad thing? Why haven't you just read it already?" he asked. James stoped banging his head on the wall and sat up on his bed.

"Because, if I read it now, I'll me tempted to say some cocky remark about something that she's written, and she can't know that I have her diary, let alone that it's even missing!" he said. Remus cocked his eyebrow.

"But if you have her diary, then what does she think she has?" he asked. James's jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide.

"Oh shit!"

- - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, a frantic red head was rummaging through her trunk.

"Where on earth is it!" she cried, tossing clothes and books everywhere, going to her bag, she toppled everything out and scattered everything around, looking for that one book. Unknown to her, a pair of eyes were watching her.

"Where on earth is what?" Gianne asked, emerging from the shadows. Lily screamed and tripped on a discarded shoe, landing in a heap on the ground.

- - - - - - - -

James looked up.

"What the hell was that?"

- - - - - - - -

"Jesus, Gi, you scared the shit out of me!" Lily said, placing her hand over her heart. Gianne laughed and helped Lily up.

"Okay Lily, you've been up here for at least two hours looking for something, what is it?" she asked. Lily bit her lip.

"You promise you won't make fun of me?" Gianne smiled slightly.

"When have I ever made fun of you?" she asked, pulling a face. Lily frowned.

"No, I'm being Serious, Gi, you swear not to tell anybody, ever?" Gianne sighed.

"Sure, I swear, now what is it." Lily bit her lip and looked down.

"I was looking for my diary." Gianne laughed.

"Is that what this is about! A stupid diary!" she cried, falling on Lily's bed and landed on a quill that snapped. "Ouch!"  
"Gi!" she pleaded. "It's not just a stupid diary! It's got all my secrets, all my thoughts, it's me, Gi. I can't have anybody read me." Lily plopped back on the ground. "I don't want anybody to be able to read me!" Tears swelled into her eyes. A look of concern swept over Gianne's face.

"Why didn't you just tell me it was so important!" she said, sitting next to Lily and patting her on the back. A thought clicked on in her head. "You know what I think!" she exclaimed. Lily looked at her.

"What?" she asked. Gianne bit her lip.

"I think I might know who has your diary." She said.

- - - - - - - - -

"POTTER!" a voice was heard. James's jaw dropped when he heard his name being screamed out. Sirius looked at him.

"Did that sound like Evans?" Sirius asked. James bit his lip, and his eyes bulged when he heard feet stomping up the boy's stairs.

"Lock the door!" he demanded, getting up and diving in front of the door, stopping it from flying open as Lily flung herself into it. Remus locked the door while Sirius joined James in barricading it.

"POTTER! GIVE IT BACK!" Lily screamed in fury, slamming her body into the door again. By now head had poked out of their dorm rooms and several people were inching up the stairs to see what all the commotion was about, Gianne and Elle included.

"Give what back?" James asked, in a careful voice. Lily slammed her body into the door again.

"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT _IT _IS, POTTER, I WANT IT BACK RIGHT NOW!" she yelled, slamming her body, again, into the door. The door buckled.

"Jesus, for someone so small, she's bloody strong!" Sirius said, over Lily's screams, as the door nearly gave way.

"Bloody hell." James said to the guys. "Lily!" he called out to her. "Just calm down." She slammed into the door again. "Let's talk about this!" Gianne ran up the stairs and caught Lily just as she was about to slam into the door.

"Lily! Stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" Lily just ignored her and slipped out of her grip, and slammed into the door again. The door shook.

"What do you mean, hurt herself!" Sirius cried in panic as the door gave way a little. "She's more likely gonna hurt us than her!"

"JUST GIVE IT BACK, POTTER, AND YOU WON'T GET HURT!" she cried, adding in quickly behind. "Much!" Lily slammed into the door again and it flew off of it's hinges. She yelped in surprise as she tumbled over James who had been standing behind the door in front of her, but quickly came to her common sense and jumped onto James's back as he stood up. Hitting his head, as Sirius tried to pry her from him, Lily yelled at him.

"WHERE THE HELL IS IT!" James cringed as she hit his head again.

"ARGH! LILY! GET OFF ME!" he cried. People had swarmed at the open gap where the door used to be to get a better look at the fight. Sirius cried in surprise as Lily punched him from where she was on James's back, sending Sirius ramming into Remus's bed. James took his chance and used a muggle move that he had seen on a television once and flipped her off of his back, sending her flying down in front of him. James pinned her down.

"JUST GIVE IT BACK AND I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE!" she screamed as she struggled to get James off of her. Unfortunately, he was too strong for her, so she gave up and went limp on the floor, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. James looked at her small form underneath him and felt bad, but, remembering why he was doing this, regained his courage.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said, staring into her eyes. Lily struggled a bit more, but lost interest and instead looked over at Sirius who was covering an eye. Surprisingly, Lily burst into a fit of laughter as she saw him looking helpless and lost, and with a black eye of coarse. Gianne sighed at the doorway as she looked over at Sirius too and started giggling. Remus, not knowing what to do, went over to the door and ushered everyone out. Reluctantly, everyone left, leaving a terrified Peter cowering in the corner of the room, two hysterical girls, James looking weirdly at Lily, yet still on top of her, himself, and a whimpering Sirius sitting on Remus's bed.

Remus looked over at James and Lily.

"You're lucky that I'm not gonna report this." He said sternly at Lily, who in turn just became more hysterical with laughter. Gianne bit her lip to stop herself from laughing and walked over to Sirius.

"So, Sirius," she said casually, "Nice eye." She finished, before falling on the ground with laughter. Sirius looked over at Lily and James.

"I'm ruined!" he cried. "No one's gonna want to go out with me now! I'm all out of shape!" he said, touching his heavily bruised eye. Between laughter and intakes of breath, Lily managed to blurt out,

"Ge-get off of m-me Pot-potter!" she said. James looked down at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Coz I'm kinda liking this position." He said. Lily and Gianne stoped laughing. _'You idiot!'_ Gianne thought. Lily glared at him before throwing an unexpected James off of her.

"You're screwed up in the head, you know that!" she said, walking towards him. She stoped in front of him. "And I know that you have my diary, so you're gonna either give it back, or pay." She said, before punching him in the head and stalking off with Gianne.

James looked up at Remus with his eye covered.

"What was that for?"

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A/N. duh what an idiot! Lol, I loved writing this chapter. It was my favourite! You gotta love giving a character some attitude! Please review and tell me what you think, good or bad, and enjoy reading the rest of the story.


	6. Bacon

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own any of the things in the world of Harry Potter. Although I would like to, I only own any un-recognisable characters that you may see during the following story..

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Peter crept through the dark halls as he reached his destination. The room of requirements door was ajar, because one of the members of the group inside still hadn't arrived, thanks to Remus's stunning spell. Sure, it was a little drastic, but when the time came, it was dependent on James, Sirius, Remus and Peter's survival.

"God!" Peter heard through the crack in the door, "Where the hell is she!" he recognised the voice as Gianne's. Another person, Lily, sighed.

"Well, we'll just have to start without her, then. Okay, so, we've agreed on the plan?" her voice stopped as she gave Gianne time to nod. "Okay then, it's a done deal, it happens at the ball." Peter heard Gianne laugh before a figure was seen on the other side of the door. He sprang back as it was closed. 'Phew', he thought, 'that was a close one!' He scurried back to the Gryffindor common room and raced up the boys dormitory stairs where Elle had been placed after being stunned. He puffed as he bolted into the boy's room. They all turned towards him.

"Well?" James asked after a few moments of silence.

"It happens at the ball." Peter said dramatically. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yes, but what?" he asked. Peter shrugged and James started hitting himself on the head.

"Mate, I can't really confirm this, but I think you're gonna die." Sirius said, putting his hand on James's shoulder and pretended to cry. "It was nice knowing you, Prongs." James smirked.

"Yes, but I think you're forgetting one thing, padfoot." Sirius looked up.

"What?"

"Usually when Evans comes up with a plan it affects all four of us." Sirius gaped in horror.

"No way! She wouldn't sink so low! Even after she ruined my beautiful face!" he said, touching his now back-to-normal perfect face. Remus butted in.

"Oi guys, what ball? I think that I'd know if there were a Christmas ball."

- - - The next morning - - -

"Students." Professor Dumbledore announced in breakfast. "It may come as an inconvenience to some who have already planned their wonderful Christmas break, but our heads have decided to show a little festivity, and host a ball, to which all third years and above can attend." A few cheers were heard from the crowd, including a few groans.

"But I already had plans-"

"I suppose I could always stay-"

"Oh my god, this is gonna be soooo much fun!"

Dumbledore laughed a bit, "Yes, well, I'll let you all get back to your breakfast," and sat down. Remus turned to Lily who was trying her best no to knock out James who was sitting beside her.

"What ball?" Lily smiled a bit.

"Well, I was going to be staying back over Christmas anyway, and I knew me and everyone else were going to be bored staying here, so I decided to organise a ball, It's a fancy dress one as well, the information's going to be posted up on the notice boards at lunch." Remus looked warily at her while James just gazed, taking in her beauty as she made every little move, including eating a piece of bacon and then choking on it.

He gasped as she started turning purple and stood up, bringing her with him and performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on her, that he had soon on a muggle television before. Lily spluttered and removed James's hands from her waist with force. Sitting back down, she received a gig glare from Gianne.

"What?" she asked. Gianne kicked her. "Ow! Gian- Oh!" Lily turned to James and smiled at him. "Thank you James." She said, before standing back up and leaving, Gianne and Elle running after her.

Gianne ran outside to see lily kicking a rock.

"Lily!" she called. Lily looked up at her and walked over. "What's your problem!" Lily groaned.

"Gi, you know I love this plan and I can't wait for it to happen, right?" Gianne nodded her on. "But this is getting really hard! I mean, honestly, performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on me! Who does he think he is, superman?" Gianne giggled a bit.

"Well, I don't think he is, but he might look like him, later on." Lily started giggling too.

"I know, but, URGH!" she screamed, scaring a few birds. "I like bacon, as well! Now I can never eat bacon again!" Elle looked quizzically at her.

"Why?" Lily grabbed a rock and pegged it at a tree.

"Because now Potter's going to remove it from the entire great hall just so I won't choke again."

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A/N. Awwww….. nooooooo! NOT THE BACON! Lol, sorry that it was so short. I wanted to write something so I just wrote something random. Please review and tell me what you think, good or bad, and enjoy reading the rest of the story.


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